“The fruits of my labor I enjoy’em while they still ripe” Lil Wayne
I love that lyric. I wish we could all apply the same philosophy to our lives.
People come to therapy and most often tell me “I need you to fix me. Tell me what to do to get better.” My response is always the same. “I can’t fix you, but I can help you fix yourself.” It all starts with the seeds you plant.
Using seed as an analogy, we all become farmers. Seed can be our children, can be our relationships, it can be anything in this world that we plant not for the now, but for the future. Science tells us in order for seed to grow, we have to have soil, water, and sun light. Let’s adopt seed as our goals or desires, and soil, water, and sunlight as the attention and focus we deliver to that seed.
I had a client come to me once and stated “I can’t control my son, he won’t listen to me. I need your help.” As we visited with each other, it came to pass that mom was never home. Mom worked a lot and at night, she enjoyed partaking in the night life because according to her, “I deserve to have a life too, not just be a mom.” And to some extent she was right. But let’s remember what happens to a tree that is often ignored and deprived of water and sunlight.
There was a married couple that came to me due to problems in their relationship. The relationship had apparently grown stale and mundane and both were beginning to live separately from each other, each going their own way on weekends and not having much interaction during the week. “Can you tell us what to do? This is our last resort before divorce!” they exclaimed.
In both these cases, the farmer began to ignore his seed. Sure the seed had grown and blossomed for a bit, but it still needed strong soil, water, and sunlight to keep bearing fruit. Often times we pay a lot of attention to our children or our spouse in the beginning, but slowly begin to wander off. If you want success and happiness, you can not allow your seed to go without soil, water, and sun light.
Remember that seed is planted for the future, not for the now. Children will grow up and if you ignore them, eventually they will ignore you. Your relationship will grow stale if you begin to ignore your partner. We all need love, affection, and attention. It’s what makes us happy. If we provide that, that same love and attention will be reciprocated. A farmer that nourishes his orchard with enriched soil and water under direct sunlight will harvest great fruit.
Do not allow yourself to harvest bad fruit because life gets in the way, preventing you from paying attention to your seed. Lil Wayne worked very hard at his craft to get where he is. Every person that works hard will eventually be rewarded. If you plant seed with good intentions and provide care and attention, that seed will bear good fruit.
The sweetness of your fruit will depend on the labor you provided while it was growing. Remember that.